Featured

Benjamin’s Diagnosis

img_1424

So I know within the last few months I’ve written about how Baby B is always sick, throwing up, being congested, etc., well we finally know what’s going on!

I know it may not seem like a big deal to most, but for the last half of a year, Benjamin has spent it in our arms, struggling to breathe, choking on his milk, and being uncomfortable in most positions babies usually love. He has been passed on from family members for being too “cranky” or throwing up too much on everyone’s clothes.

For the last 6 months, I have barely slept for I would wake with every tiny sound he would make, scared he was no longer breathing. I was judged over and over again for cosleeping with my clearly sick child. I stopped breastfeeding because we thought he had an allergy to lactose, which was causing his “congestion.” We’ve kept him away from people, and inside, because his doctor told us ” it’s winter, babies get sick.” We got criticized for not clearing his nose enough, and for being overprotective when there was nothing wrong.

For the last few months I got told I was “baby-ing” my baby and was choosing a favourite child. That I was becoming the family member that nobody liked. I second guessed my judgment as a parent, and began to feel like I wasting the doctors time.

But here’s where I want to say “TRUST YOUR MAMA INSTINCTS!!” I knew something was off.

After many scans, xrays, scare of an abscess, checking for a heart murmur, and explaining the same story to countless doctors, we finally got some answers!

img_0771

After putting a camera up his nose, we were told that Benjamin has laryngomalacia. He doesn’t make the same noise that babies usually do with this condition so that is why they had such a hard time diagnosing him.

Laryngomalacia is when the tissue above the vocal cords is malformed and floppy, causing it to block the airway when inhaling. We were told that if they just looked at the video they took, Benjamin would for sure need surgery for how badly it is malformed, but because he is doing so well clinically (gaining weight etc,) and since this condition is known to improve during 6-8 months of age, we will wait to see if it continues to improve on its own. Benjamin also has reflux (which is common with laryngomalacia,) so he was put on medication for that too.

Even though he has stopped throwing up formula for the most part, we are still struggling with solids. He either throws them back up, gags/chokes, or his breathing gets really bad after. We may have to go for additional testing when we see his dr next week.

I am thrilled that we finally know what’s going on with our little man, but I still hate this waiting game. The whole bring him back if he “starts to turn blue” really freaks me out. I feel like I need to keep an eye on him 24/7 for we don’t know if/when it could turn for the worst. As much as I know that there are worse diagnosis’s, I hate seeing my little guy suffering and not being able to live his babyhood like he should be.

I will update after our appointment next week.

xo

Julie

img_1418

img_1114

img_0891

Featured

Anxiety – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Today is Bell Lets Talk day so I figured we would do just that. The last time I wrote more in depth about Anxiety would have been my post from last year! It was about being diagnosed, I included a link at the bottom of this post in case you guys want to check it out.

When my doctor recommended CBT to me I was very hesitant. How was I supposed to tell a total stranger about my life when I couldn’t even talk to the people around me? What was I supposed to talk about and how was I supposed to fit that in my schedule between work and school?

The place recommended to me was just a few stops away on the metro from my school so I went in between classes. I’d finish class in the morning, hop the metro and walk the rest of the way. Then I’d do the reverse and head back to school for more classes. It made for an extremely long day and I always felt so drained afterwards. I cried once a week in front of a woman that I knew nothing about and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

The process of starting was that you first go through an evaluation. I filled out so many forms filled with extremely personal questions. Then I sat down with two women, that read the forms and asked me even more questions. I cried during that too. They then determine what kind of anxiety you seem to have as there is more than one. Next they find a therapist or student therapist to match you with. They then set up an appointment for you and away you go.

I bawled my eyes out for almost every single appointment. I learned so much about myself and the people in my life. It sounds weird to say that but I saw them and their actions in a new light. I realized that I had some very toxic relationships that I either needed to fix or end because they were destroying me. I talked about so much and I said things that I would never have felt comfortable talking to the people around me about. I always worried that I wouldn’t have anything to say but after a couple of questions, I felt like I didn’t have time to talk about everything.

I knew my sessions were coming to an end when I was able to go once every two weeks… That and I wasn’t crying my way through the whole session! That was a huge improvement for me. I still have the tools my therapist taught me and I can’t thank her enough. I don’t know what I would have done without her.

I also got homework to do from my therapist and it was actually super helpful. I still use some of the techniques now, even though I no longer attend sessions. CBT is one of the most effective treatments for anxiety. I learned what triggered my anxiety, how to stop from spiraling, and how to cope with it. It is usually done over a shorter time period, it can also be done in groups but I was not up for that.

Sometimes I think about finding another therapist, a bit closer to home, because it helped me immensely. Unfortunately, it can also be very expensive. It helps to talk about things and I am so glad my doctor convinced me to go. I don’t regret it for a minute.

So now I’ll wrap this up by telling you to please talk about it. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone in your life, an outsider can be so much easier. I still struggle to talk about how I feel but I’m better than I used to be and I hope I can improve even more. Don’t suffer in silence anymore, and you are always welcome to contact me through the contact us page if you just need to talk to someone that doesn’t know you, with no judgment.

Talk about it and help end the stigma.

xo

Brittany

Link to the diagnoses:

https://beautyandbrainsxo.ca/2018/01/28/anxiety-the-diagnoses/

Half Baked – 20 Week Update

Well, we have officially reached the halfway mark. I have my ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow so we can find out the gender and they will do the anatomy scan. To say I am nervous is an understatement. I just want everything to be okay, I don’t really care what the gender will be but I still think little Bean is a boy so we will see if I am right!

I still stand by my previous post, pregnancy sucks. I’ve made it a full 9 days without throwing up so I’m really excited about that. I mean, I’m still getting nauseous and dry heaving to the point that I just want to throw up but I guess it is progress. These hormones are absolutely wild though. I’m taking everything personally and looking way into what people say to me. I legit spent a whole morning crying because someone hurt my feelings and I was just so upset by it. I don’t think they meant to hurt me but that doesn’t mean I didn’t cry my heart out over it. I’ve now gone for three rounds of multiple kinds of blood tests. The second blood test picked up on antibodies that indicate that I have Hashimotos disease. That basically means my immune system attacks my thyroid. As long as I take my pills everything should be okay but it puts me at a higher risk of having preeclampsia. I’m being followed by an endocrinologist so we will see! I lost weight at my last appointment so my doctor so instead of going every four weeks, she wants to see me every three weeks so she can watch me to see if it happens again.

I still have a million things to do but I did sell my condo! I also mostly finished my registry! I would like to add in a couple of gender specific things to it when we find out but otherwise its all done and one less thing for me to stress about. Next I need to get my license and car switched over to Ontario. I also have to get a doctor all lined up for when I move and I have to look into a photographer for newborn pictures.

On the bright side, I think I started feeling the baby move! it kind of feels like.. a weird twitching feeling? I’m not 100% sure that is what I’m feeling still but it makes sense. It sort of feels like how people describe it and it isn’t consistent yet because it is too early for that still.

Mood: Tired, Sensitive, and lonely.

Cravings: Fruit by the foot, don’t judge me! The baby likes it and they usually move around after I eat one.

Dislikes: People. Am I allowed to say that? I’m lonely yet I don’t want to be around all the people offering my support. There are very few people I actually want to see, including my boyfriend. I can’t seem to spend enough time with him as I am still in Montreal and he is in Ottawa.

Here’s hoping things will get better..

xo

Brittany

Stranger in the Lake Book Review

Ahh to be on vacation again! My boyfriend and I spent a week at the cottage and not only did I do some serious napping but I also got some reading done! First up was Stranger in the Lake by Kimberly Belle.

Kimberly Belle is known for her thrillers and Stranger in the Lake is no exception! I wasn’t sure what to expect at first but this book actually kept me guessing. It took me some time to solve part of it but even then, there was a twist I didn’t see coming! Those are my favourite.

The book follows our main character, Charlotte. She grew up in the trailer park, basically raising her little brother. She sends the small town gossips into a tizzy when she marries a very wealthy widow named Paul. His first wife died of a drowning in the lake behind their house and washed up at the dock. She was a great swimmer so people were immediately suspicious but it ended up being ruled an accident. A lot of the towns people still think he’s responsible and they can’t believe that Charlotte married him. A few years later, another woman is also found dead under that same dock. Weird coincidence right?

Charlotte notices her husband has started acted weird and slowly tries to piece together what she does know. She also realizes that her husband is full of secrets and she doesn’t actually know all that much about him. Not only does a lot of the town suspect Paul but she is starting to as well.

I definitely recommend checking this one out if you like mysteries that you don’t actually solve within the first few pages. I flew through this one and plan on looking for more books by the author.

What are you currently reading?

xo

Brittany

Surprise! I’m Pregnant this Time

Y’all I don’t know who is more surprised by this pregnancy but let me tell you, its been rough. Though it may have taken us by surprise, the excitement has been growing with each week that goes by. I’m not going to lie or sugar coat it but I was terrified when I found out. Okay, I still am but it is getting better as I get some things done. A lot of people talk about how beautiful pregnancy is and its all magic and rainbows but I don’t feel like that. I’m finally getting over the point of being exhausted at all times but I am still so sick. I’ve been throwing up so hard that I’ve burst blood vessels under the skin on my face. Here’s hoping that gets better too but as each week goes by, I’m losing hope about that.

I think one of the hardest things I’ve had to do so far has been telling people. They didn’t exactly have the reactions one would hope for and I guess I can’t blame them because neither did we. Don’t get me wrong, they have all been supportive and now they all seem to be excited but my over hormonal self has definitely cried about it. Some people were immediately excited which was actually reassuring to me.

I know I have so much to do that I don’t even know where to start. Not only am I having a baby but I’m going to be moving to another province to live with my boyfriend. At some point we will need to find a place to buy together but that will wait until after the baby is here. I need to sell my condo, which I have listed so that is progress. We have started our registry but I know we still have so much to add. I feel like this post has been all over the place but I have been too so you guys will have to bare with me until I get into the swing of things.

At this point I’m 16 weeks so here are some things I want to add after my posts because I loved it when Julie did!

Mood: Tired, Stressed, and ready for a break

Cravings: Coke and ice water

Dislikes: The smell of coffee

xo

Brittany

Our Favourite Podcasts

I’m always trying to find new podcasts to listen to as I’ve been binge listening to a few for a while and I’m looking for something new. I thought I’d share some of our favourites for anyone looking to try some new ones! I’m not too sure how to break these down so you’ll have to bare with me.

My Favorite Murder:

I’ve been listening to this one since the beginning. Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark launched My Favorite Murder in 2016 and it has taken off. I’m talking 2 books (one is in the works), global Murderinos, live shows in North America and Europe, as well as their very own podcast network. If you’ve been listening then you know that the fans are called Murderinos and that you can join their fan cult. They’ve released all kinds of merch with some of their funny advice. It may be funny but also extremely practical, some include not having to be polite to strange men talking to you, staying out of the forest, and calling your dad if you get caught up in a cult. Their podcast is true crime/comedy, though they often talk about mental health and highly recommend therapy. At this point they’ve even started up the Exactly Right network which hosts multiple podcasts. They were doing their live shows before the pandemic but obviously those are on hold now. You get a mini episode on Mondays, this is where they read out our hometown stories. The full episodes come out on Thursdays and this is where the full true crime stories come in.

The Papaya Podcast:

Sarah Nicole Landry is a fellow Canadian. She is currently living in Ontario and often promotes a lot of small businesses. She Launched The Papaya Podcast in 2019 and releases episodes every Monday. She does have solo episodes but more often than not, she has a guest in to talk about their stories. This one falls under the mental health genre. The episodes are always inspiring and bringing in guests to speak on things she doesn’t necessarily know about makes it even better. I’ve learned a lot from her and she’s great to follow on Instagram too! She has four kids and talks about motherhood. Her oldest is a teenager and her youngest is just a couple of months old. Her content is so real which makes her all the more relatable. Her baby is too cute, and she often share the reality of motherhood, and postpartum realness. Everything from leaky boobs, to diaper blowouts, to just being touched out.

Unruffled with Janet Lansbury

The podcast started in 2015 and is still going today. Janet Lansbury is an advisor, an author, and has her own site. She promotes respectful parenting which helps create relationships of respect, love, and trust between children and caregivers. She doesn’t just cover babies and toddlers but deals with up to teenagers too which I feel isn’t as common. One thing that is pretty great is that she discusses topics from other parents. It makes it feel more relatable knowing others are going through it too. The podcast is informative and so inspiring. There is so much to learn and its great that she brings guests onto the show too. It always brings in another prospective which is nice. You can also book a private consultation with Janet or her associate Lisa, though that was put on hold for now. It seems like the plan is to have some recorded (with permission of course) and then posted on the podcast which I think is a pretty great idea. I can’t wait to see more from her!

What podcasts do you recommend? We are always looking for more!

xo

Brittany

Chrissy Teigen’s Mac & Cheese Recipe Review

I’ve been in a serious recipe rut lately. I feel like I haven’t tried anything new for a while and I just keep making the same stuff. My boyfriend and I flipped through the first Chrissy Teigen cookbook, Cravings and marked which recipes we were interested in trying. First up, mac & cheese!

This is so good! It definitely makes a lot but I prefer it like that. Okay, I’m trying not to be one of those bloggers that just rambles on when you just want to find the actual recipe because that drives me nuts. I’ve added a picture of Chrissy Teigen’s recipe and then underneath I’ll put what I did differently.

So I didn’t really want to be getting all kinds of different cheeses to grate because I was feeling a little lazy. We picked up those packs of shredded cheese that have a few different types in it. We got a pack that had three kinds and a pack that had another four so we ended up using seven kinds of cheeses. I didn’t put it all in but saved a little to sprinkle across the top just like the recipe called for. This is definitely a recipe that’s heavy on the diary. If you are lactose intolerant you can swap them out. I also skipped out on the bread crumbs on top but I’ll add that next time!

Another thing that we noticed is that you should let this sit a little once it comes out of the oven. We didn’t wait before scooping it out so it was pretty runny. Letting it sit allows it to.. I don’t want to say harden but be less runny? Let it solidify? You know what I’m trying to say!

This is the perfect dish for fall/winter but I’m not going to lie, I would eat this year round. You can eat it as your meal but it also makes for a good side dish. So far I’ve tried a couple of Chrissy Teigen’s recipes and I’m straight up obsessed. There are two cookbooks currently and I have both! There is a third coming out but I haven’t seen when. I already know I’ll be getting it though. I also love that she includes a little blurb with each recipe.

Ah she’s beautiful

I’ve already reviewed Chrissy Teigen’s Roto Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe if you want to check that one out too! I’ve made it multiple times already. Its quick, easy, and tastes so good!

Have you guys tried any of the recipes in Cravings?

xo

Brittany

21 in 2021 Project Pan

I’ve been seeing this trend a lot on Reddit so I decided I wanted to join in on it. I’ve chosen 21 products that I either want to hit pan on or completely use up by the end of 2021. I know a few of these are almost done so as I finish one, I’ll add in another one. I don’t think I’ll finish them all but I’d like to at least hit pan on some of the shadows. I know I can finish the masks off, at least one mascara, one liner, and one lipstick.

I have a few empties since my last post at the end of October. It really isn’t that much but I’m happy I finished off some of these foil ones. I have more than I care to admit but I’m finally starting to work through them faster than they are coming in. The rest is all pretty standard stuff. I need to start finishing some of my makeup products. Those are definitely coming in way faster than going out. I’ve made decent progress on a couple of the products on my list but I haven’t finished any of them yet. My Revlon mascara is almost done. It’s one of my favourites but it is taking way more coats than usual. Its either starting to dry up or I’m actually using it up. I’ll probably need to switch it out in March.

I started this on January 1st and have made a bit of progress. The eye cream is almost empty so that should be done within the month. I’ve made some progress on the lip products which I’m happy about! I haven’t used all the products yet but the fact that I’ve even used any lip products makes me happy. Here’s hoping I can actually stick with this project though! I tend to only last a couple months because I get bored of it. I’m hoping by adding new products once I finish something, it might help me stay motivated.

I know I’m going to be buying more products because Jaclyn Hill announced that she’s launching some this year and I am obsessed with the highlights she released and her palettes with Morphe. I have no idea what she’s launching though so there’s a small chance I won’t order it but you know… I doubt that!

Have you seen this trend going around? Are you participating? I’d love to see if you have any posts about it!

xo

Brittany

Child-Led Potty Training

When I first became a mother, potty training was the thing I dreaded the most. We constantly heard stories of how difficult and messy it was, and there was so much pressure to have a child fully trained by a certain age. There were horror stories of training too early, and what would happen if we waited too long.

The summer before Nora turned 2, the questions began. Had we started training her yet? The summer was the perfect time! So I did a little research and bought her first tiny pair of underwear. I set a timer for every 15 minutes, and we began. I want to say we did this for a couple days, but all I can remember is Nora could not care less. We had towels everywhere, I was constantly cleaning up messes, and then she stopped even telling me that she was wet. I knew we couldn’t continue like this, but I felt like such a failure.

A few months later, I walked into her two year doctors appointment with my head hung low. I knew the question would come up, and I wouldn’t know how to respond.

We went through all the usual questions but when I exclaimed that no, she was not in fact potty trained and that she had no interest in it what’s so ever, her doctor just simply responded “so wait.” My face must have given my shock away because she laughed and proceed with telling me to wait until she was ready and that it was more common now for children to be potty trained closer to age 3. After that I was able to tell everyone who asked why she wasn’t trained yet “her doctor told us to wait until she was ready.” We may have gotten funny looks but no one argues with what a doctor says.

Sure enough, a month before she turned 3 it happened.

What is Child-Led Potty Training?

Child-Led Potty Training is letting your child initiate the process on their own instead of the parents deciding and forcing them into it. This means no power struggles, no shaming, and not doing it before they are 100% ready. Once the child starts showing interest in the toilet and using it, you support them and encourage them but never force them out of diapers until they are ready. This could mean going back and forth between going on the toilet and going in a diaper simultaneously. Potty learning is a process and every child will process it differently.

For us, we already had a seat for the big toilet but since that didn’t work the first time we let her pick out her own small potty. This worked well for us because she had options to where she wanted to sit. In child-led potty training it is recommended to skip the portable potty however. We also made sure to have a book about potty training. At the time she was still into Paw Patrol so we got this one:

Potty Patrol (PAW Patrol)

And then boom, that was it. We talked about it, she asked questions, had a few accidents here and there but nothing like the first time or how I imagined it would go. Here is the log I kept of her progress:

As you can see, not even a week later I stopped keeping tracking since it happened so flawlessly. There was no need for timers or rewards because she just knew. She natrually learnt the feeling of having to go and knew where to go because she had been exposed to it for months before-hand. Apparently I skipped a step the first time around where before going straight to underwear, you leave them with nothing on, then wearing loose pants, and only then put them in underwear. This was a crucial step for us. I would say that was what took the longest. Her favourite part of it though was the little happy dance we did everytime she went. We made sure to praise her when she did other things as well, to avoid putting any pressure on going to the potty. Even though she has been trained now for a few months now, I still can’t believe how easy it was!! In regards to going out in public we did that slowly and when she was ready too. We started going on small walks then drives, and then we just got used to it and stopped thinking about having to put a diaper on her before we went out.

Benjamin saw us doing the happy dance and decided he wanted some praise too so just before he turned 2 he decided he wanted to go on the potty as well. I kind of didn’t take him seriously however, since Nora trained later and I had heard boys were even harder than girls. Much to our surprise, he knew exactly what to do too. I left potty training two kids at the same time out of the begining of this simply because I don’t know if he is considered fully trained just yet as he still struggles the second he has pants on. Some days he still asks for diapers, and we did take a break over the holidays, but we are still following his lead. It may not be as quick and easy as it was with Nora but I think it is the perfect example of how each child is different which puts emphasis on soley following their cues.

I have become the worst at giving parenting advice because lately my new motto is: wait until they’re ready. It has been the most effective way in all the challenges we’ve faced so far! Have you tried this potty training method? How did it work for you?

xo, Julie

Goodbye 2020

I don’t even know the words to describe my 2020. While it was an absolute mess, I feel like a lot of good came from it for me and I really changed as a person. I did some serious adulting and have really been working on getting my act together.

Do you usually start with the bad news or the good news? I guess the bad, to neutral, to good? Anyway, I think we all know most of the bad since there was (is) a global pandemic going on. Montreal first locked down in March and I was fortunate enough to keep my job, just on reduced hours for a while. Unfortunately we are back into another serious lockdown which is extremely frustrating. If you saw a previous post ( Ending a Long Term Relationship), you would know that I left a long term relationship and moved back in with my parents. Now I’m not saying that is a bad thing at all. I know a lot of people did that this year. It also taught me a lot. Man, that was quite a change for me and I struggled not to revert back to a moody teenager stuck at my parents place because the world was shutting down. Okay so maybe I did a little but only my parents can confirm that so we are just going to pretend I was a very mature adult. I got myself back into therapy for a while after the break up because my anxiety was off the charts and I couldn’t seem to get a grasp on things by myself. There were a lot of big changes happening and I needed to find my balance again.

I’m quite pleased to say I’m doing oh so much better. Sure I’m still working on things but I bought a condo a town over from where I grew up. One of my childhood friends moved in with me for now and that has definitely helped with the transition. It feels weird to think that I’m actually a home owner, that is the adulting thing I mentioned. I also stopped therapy again because I am doing so much better. I’m not saying I don’t need it anymore, lord knows we could all use a little therapy but I felt like I reached a point where I felt comfortable taking things back into my own hands. I still have anxiety and it is something I will always have to work on but I feel more stable now. I know I can easily get back into it if need be.

On the bright side, we managed to get over 10K followers on Instagram!! And then on the darker side, we were hacked and lost our account. We have had to start over from scratch. On a lighter note, Julie and I have gotten to work with some great companies this year and we have been growing our new following which is always exciting! You can find our page here. I can’t wait to work with more in 2021 and to hopefully keep building our platforms. I’m also definitely making us a vision board because ya girls got goals!

I experienced the dating world a bit this year and that definitely had its up and downs. It is still a new relationship but I have a new boyfriend! We are doing a bit of a long distance thing as he lives in Ottawa and I’m in Montreal but so far so good! I can’t wait to see what 2021 has in store for us too. I’m looking forward to every moment of it and getting to know him even more. I won’t talk much about that as it is still new but I’ll definitely get around to posting about dating apps and maybe some long distance relationships.

At this point I don’t even know what goals to set for 2021 as I have no idea what will be allowed and what the state of things will be. This is just what I have so far:

  • If possible I’d love to take a trip, even if it is just a weekend away.
  • Build my savings up again, obviously it won’t be as high as before putting down my down payment but still.
  • I seriously need to develop a skincare routine too!
  • Work with more companies and grow our following.
  • Improve photography skills.
  • Write on the blog more consistently.

What are some of your 2021 goals? Any suggestions on what I should add to mine?

xo

Brittany

My Baby Boy Turns 2

This day was so much harder than I thought it would be. Not only because you are my baby, but because you have changed so much in the past few months and it forces me to think about it. You have gone from needing me, holding me, and being close to me 24/7 to this little independent little boy I barely recognize. Don’t get me wrong, I love the child you are becoming I just didn’t think it would happen so fast.

Just a few short months ago, you were still waking multiple times through out the night and crawling into our bed. You still needed my warmth and heartbeat to fall asleep, even if it tooks hours. I dreaded too many of those night wakings and back aches from holding you for so long. If I had known that in just a few, short months later, you would be in your own bed, in your own room, no longer needing me to fall asleep and completly sleeping through the night, I would have held your sleeping body against mine for just a little while longer. I would have breathed in your sweet smell a little more, rubbed my cheek against your soft hair, and greeted your face in the dark with a smile. I still reach my hand down beside my bed, looking for yours, still listen for your heavy breathing and await your face next to mine in the morning.

I am happy knowing we gave you the confidence to transition so easily by waiting until you were ready to move into your sisters room, but part of me wishes you still needed me in there with you. My heart aches for the little baby you once were. Those days were so hard and I wished they would end far too many times than I would like to admit but I also thought they wouldn’t end so quickly. I am happy you are still a little love bug, you love to cuddle on the couch and cover us in kisses but nothing will ever compare to the bedsharing bond we shared.

Besides being Mr. Independant at bedtime, you have become so creative. You could build with blocks or magnet tiles all day long. You amaze us with your knowledge of letters, numbers and recently, you have started identifying dinosaurs. Your little brain is constantly working, whether its askng questions, singing or fixing all your cars, and I can’t wait for each day to see what you will come out with.

I love the way you say “of course!” when Nora asks to play with the toy you are playing with, how you look towards her for advice on what to do and how you exclaim “Nora is my best friend!”daily. I hope you guys stay so close, nothing makes me happier than seeing you guys together.

I will forever thank you Benjamin for changing me, and even though I’m still feeling a little lost right now, crying at how fast you are growing and changing, please remember how proud of you we are. You are such an amazing little boy who loves to make us giggle with all your silly monkey faces, forever doing things that make our heart race, but showering us in love and we couldn’t have asked for better. You and your sister complete us, and I couldn’t imagine my life any better than it is right now.

Xo

Project Pan 2020 – October Update

Well this took me longer than expected! I moved a little over a week ago and I’m mostly settled in so I finally took pictures for my empties and which products I’m going to work through next. Montreal is back in lockdown so I’m basically going to wear some makeup at home and work on some skincare stuff.

First, the empties. I didn’t finish everything I wanted to, no surprise there. But I did manage to clear out a few things so it’s all good. That’s still 14 things emptied and cleared out. It’s funny because 14 seems like a lot but I really thought I hadn’t done well. It may not have been the stuff I wanted but it’s still stuff gone so I just need to remember that!

I was trying to figure out some things that I thought I could still use even though I basically only go to the grocery store now. It is mostly skincare but I threw in a couple of makeup products in hopes that I will use them. One in particular is the little tiny Benefit brow pencil which I know I will finish. It’s a sample and I think it will probably last like two uses.

There is barely any concealer left and I use that one for under my eyes specifically so I can still use that when I’m wearing a mask. If I don’t finish it this month it will be done the one after for sure! I think I have 2-3 uses left for the hand cream too! Hopefully I’m not jinxing myself but I feel like I can totally get more than 14 empties this time. Here’s hoping I do!

Are you still working on your project pans this year? How are they going?

xo

Brittany