Quick update on my baby girl but then I thought it is time for a little mom talk. As much as I love jabbering and going on and on about my little babe, the changes and things we go through as moms are just as important.
Nora has (mostly) been doing amazing in her crib for the past week. She conquered both no swaddle and crib like it was nothing. These passed couple days however she has been waking up every few hours due to any or many of the following:
- She’s hungry
- She’s trying to turn over and can’t succeed in her sleep sack which leaves her feeling frustrated.
- Leap 4
- None of the above
Not only has she gone through many development stages but she has also gone up 2 sizes clothing wise in only a couple weeks. We all of a sudden are lacking in pjs and missed out on a couple outfits I couldn’t wait to get her in.
Speaking of clothing sizes…I can’t be the only one wearing maternity clothes for solely comfort reasons right? I also can’t be the only one who can’t find a decent pair of pants that fit right? Or bras? How is it that every time I look in the mirror they somehow get saggier?! Oh the struggles. I knew my body would change after giving birth but what happened to “bouncing back?” And why do I have to pee all the damn time?!
Enough of the questions…I don’t like thinking about how much I’ve changed since having a baby. I feel like I’m living a whole new life, in a whole new world. I think of one person, 24/7, ALL THE TIME. I care more about what she’s wearing than I do myself…she is my priority in life. I know the negative feelings I have come with being a first time mom and everyone goes through them. I still feel like they need to be talked about however.
We have to keep telling ourselves it’s okay to feel defeated, to loose our cool sometimes at our SOs for not knowing how to deal with babe the same way we do. That its okay to choose sleep over spending time with said SO, or to be open and tell (or yell) at him how he makes you feel unappreciated. That there’s no need to feel guilty if you plop the baby in front of the tv just so you can have a few minutes of peace, and sometimes bringing them to bed with you is the best option.
Most importantly I feel as a new mom, one of the hardest things we have to stop doing is COMPARING our babies to others. As much as my baby groups help, they also cause a lot of concerns that were not there before. I dread the day I get a mommy friend for I know the comparing will be so much worse. We are already so vulnerable and self conscience, to see another mom or baby thriving more than you or yours, is hard. We question every. single. decision.
I want to just sit back and LIVE but I worry that the decisions I make now that are not fully thought out or researched will effect my baby in the long run. I worry about her emotional wellbeing and her development if I spend too much time on my phone because I could have spent that time with her. Having the sole responsibility of the way that this child will grow up to become is the scariest reality I have gone through.
I thought life was a rollercoaster before becoming a parent…and she’s not even walking yet! I love this thing called motherhood, and to any new moms struggling some days like me, i feel like we just have to keep telling ourselves “it’s okay.”
I have so much more to say but miss Nora Grace won’t sleep more than half an hour at a time tonight so I need to think of a game plan and tell myself to enjoy rocking her as it will stop before I know it. My arm may fall off before then but it’s okay😉