This week has been a tough one. I know there will be worse, but I also know there will be better. Nora has had me up at 4:30am everyday this week ready to start her day. I know there are mommy’s who have it worse during this stage with their LO’s waking up every hour, but still, this momma is tired.
Being up that early, with 20 minute infrequent naps, makes the days very long. Nora has been grumpy from lack of sleep and teething and I feel useless. Theres not much I can do for her but she also likes to play by herself a lot and it’s a big skating rink outside so we can’t even go for walks. There’s not much in the house for me to do as we still haven’t been able to bring in the rest of the boxes to unpack. Because of this, I was very much in my head this week and that is not good. Motherhood is so hard as it is, I don’t need silly thoughts creeping up on me too.
Somewhere a long the way, we completely stopped breastfeeding , and I keep going back and forth to whether we should try and start again. At some points I think that there’s no point because she is happy on the bottle but then the next she’s asking for my breast and it breaks my heart. I let her go on when she asks but then she just yells at it. I know she wants comfort as she is teething and it makes me sad that I can’t provide that for her. I bought some Mothers Milk Tea to try and up my supply but I haven’t been able to drink 3-5 glasses a day yet. I know it will be a slow climb but I have to make sure I am 100% in otherwise it won’t work.
On another note Nora is changing so much! Her eye-hand coordination is becoming amazing and she’s really starting to play with toys. She has discovered new noises and loves to yell at her toys. EVERYTHING goes into her mouth. She likes to moan and groan when she can’t turn over too. She is so close though! Even with being tired and bored, I wouldn’t change my days with her for anything. Each little thing amazes me every day and I feel so grateful to be able to share this with her.
I feel like I need to start planning out some blog posts because I have so much to say about this thing called motherhood that I am experiencing but I don’t want to write a book each time. I feel like sometimes they just go on about nothing, but they are my thoughts of the day…so yet another thing that I am indecisive about.
What do you think I should do?