I don’t consider myself a writer. I don’t have an extensive vocabulary, and I don’t try and use different adjectives. So how, as a non writer, am I supposed to describe what it feels like being a mother? I can’t think of any word that would even begin to state what the past 11 days have been like.
So starting from the beginning and not going into too many details, labour was so much worse than I had ever imagined. Most of the members in my family had easy, only couple hour births so I didn’t even prepare myself. It took over 17 hours and 20 minutes of pushing to reveal our little peanut. They say you forget the pain, yeah, I haven’t yet. I feel like pain isn’t even the right word. It should have its own word for how horrible it is! At first I was embarrassed to say I got an epidural but I’m not anymore because I wouldn’t have been able to do it without one and i waited 14 hours so I consider that an accomplishment. I wanted another baby within the next year, not so sure about that anymore.
I must say though, we are very, very lucky first time parents. Our little princess is so perfect and so quiet! She barely cries, she latches well, and she wakes every 3-4 hours. This has made the experience a lot easier than I had thought. I’m not as tired as everyone says you are within the first few weeks, even though we have been very busy. Between people coming to visit, and finalizing the deal on the house. I’m hoping I won’t crash next week when it gets a little quieter. I will also be dedicating a whole blog post to how amazing my daughter is so fair warning.
Speaking of next week, gosh I dread my fiancé going back to work! He has been such a great help and as first time parents you tend to question every decision so it’s nice to have a second opinion. My actions have already been questioned so my confidence level as a parent has significantly gone down. I’m nervous but I know I have no choice and am kind of looking forward to spending the day cuddling and doing nothing else.
Another thing I was worried about but that has been going well is my fiancé. I know first time dads sometimes have a hard time, but mine has been very open with me. When he says he feels useless or that “baby loves Mommy more” I try and find him something to do. Whether it be another diaper change, or just involving him in my conversation with the baby. So far it seems tto be helping but I know he is counting down the days until he can give her her first bottle. Oh, that and to when we can start practicing for baby number 2.
I look forward to what future days will bring as everyday is something new.