30 weeks. Already. How.
I have gone into full blown panic I-have-so-much-to-do mode.
And then I sit at home and do nothing.
Part of me tells myself it’s because I’m waiting for the nursery furniture to come in and for the baby shower to pass (they better happen soon) and the other part of me thinks if I don’t do anything it’s cause it’s not actually as close as it is. Both answers seem good enough.
I keep trying to plan ahead with things such as Christmas and then I’m like why? There have been so many changes recently in my family and I’m trying to hold onto any sense of normality even though I know it will be far from it.
I have two younger sisters who recently both moved out in the same weekend and it’s kinda driving me nuts. One went of to college and although I love hearing about her new adventures and going to the bar any night of the week, GOD do I envy her and wish I could go back! College days were the best! The other sister moved into an apartment with her boyfriend and I’m jealous of her as well because even though I am more than happy with my life and the way it is right now, I always wanted that “first apartment” and the struggle that came with. I feel like I skipped a whole step by having a baby and looking at buying a house next year.
Everyone keeps telling my mom like “oh thank god Julie stayed home!” because she had two kids move out in the same weekend. This really didn’t bother me considering I’m the oldest and blah blah until these people went on to say “you know you did a good job at raising your children when they’re ready to go out on their own.” Just because I am not ready doesn’t mean my mother hasn’t done a good job at raising me?! I feel like I’ll never be ready! This doesn’t make me a failure, does it? Pfft.
On the subject of failure, I’m failing hard core at this only gaining 2-3 pounds a month thing. Now that I’m seeing the doctor every two weeks I am determined to do better! I plan to walk everyday and try to eat even better than I already was. Today was a good day. I had a nice walk and this was one of my snacks that I highly enjoyed:
This week I am…
Weeks: 30 (gaaahhhh)
Cravings: I’ve had 4 hot chocolates in the last 24 hours, does that count?
Dislikes: anything just a tiny bit spicy can stay awayyy. The heartburn is not worth it.
Movements: she’s had better days but I still wish she moved a little more. Still haven’t found a trick that gets her moving without fail but I’m trying!
Sleeping: why am I soooo tired?! Sleep has started to become interrupted every night but it’s not like I don’t sleep…
Mood: tired but better than last week that’s for sure.
Anybody else have quiet babies in the womb? I’m scared for what it means when she comes out!